His Return
by LunaChu97
Summary: Johan has been away for a while, but is now returning to the person who loves him most, but will he be able to accept what Judai has become in his absence? JohanJudai JesseJaden Warnings: Yaoi, eating disorders, self-harm, suicidle thoughts
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: THIS WILL BE A SLASH STORY! REPEAT: THIS WILL BE SLASH! If you don't like it, don't read ahead :) **

**I always, write angst/tragedy. The only thing close to another Genre was a one-shot I wrote a while ago which was very family.**

**I also have never written a chapter story, so bare with me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh GX or any of the characters in this chapter.**

**Warnings: Slash/Yaoi/boyxboy. Eating disorders. Self-harm. Suicidal thoughts.**

Shining sapphire hair, Emerald eyes that gleamed with life and excitement, all of that was now a memory to Judai. He missed the owner of those brilliant features. The chiselled jaw line and smooth skin still remained deep in his memory. _**Johan**__._ He had left on the 24th of September 2009, just over a year ago, to work aboard, but left a heartbroken Judai behind.

He guessed Johan was happy now, studying in England, While Judai had just finished his last year of college. He didn't want to work, he didn't have the skills. Or the mental health. He just wanted his Johan back. HIS Johan, not Yubel's.

Judai walked through his flat door, locking it behind him and throwing himself onto the bed, laying his arm over his face. Throwing a pillow onto his answer machine, he half listened to the automated voice.

"You have 27 new messages. First message received at 4:27pm" Asuka's voice rang through the speaker sounding worried and frantic. "Judai! Pick up the phone now! You can't just stay cooped up in a flat for the rest of your life! Johan is gone now! Get used to it! Come out with us for once! Please..."

Judai sighed, Asuka never gave up. The rest of the messages were nearly the same, from Sho, Edo, Ryo, Manjoume, Kenzan, Rei, Daichi and Fubuki (forgive me I don't usually use the Japanese names!), but one in particular caught his attention.

"Judai! I'm coming home! Clear space for me! I'll be home on the 28th! I just couldn't stay away! IM me buddy! You're never online anymore!"

It was his voice, Johan's voice; He was coming home, coming back to Judai. For once since Johan left, Judai was full of hope, he'd finally be able to tell him how he's felt all these years since he first arrived in their 3rd year.

He got off the bed and replayed the message over and over; He'd missed that voice, so much.

_**The 28**__**th**__... _He looked at his calendar. It was the 23rd, in 5 days he would see his Johan again, and, for the first time in months, the corner of his lips lifted, a small smile gracing his face. He went to his laptop, and signed in.

_ElementJUDAI6612 has signed in_

_cRyStAlDuDe: _JUDAI!

_ElementJUDAI6612: _Hey Johan...

_cRyStAlDuDe:_ What's wrong buddy?

_ElementJUDAI6612: _nothing...it doesn't matter anymore Johan

_cRyStAlDuDe:_ Aww you've not gone all depressed on me have you?

_ElementJUDAI6612: _No... I can't wait to see you again Johan-kun

_cRyStAlDuDe: _Hehe :D I can't wait to see you again either Ju-chan!

_ElementJUDAI6612: _CHAN?

_cRyStAlDuDe: _YAY! There's the Judai I know!

_ElementJUDAI6612: _Johan! / Don't do that!

_cRyStAlDuDe: _Seriously now though Judai, Asuka's been telling me what you've been doing...I don't agree with it you know

Judai paled

_ElementJUDAI6612: _What do you mean?

_cRyStAlDuDe: _What you've been doing since I left.

_**Oh No...**_ Judai thought to himself. _**Asuka told him! She promised not to!**_

_FLASH BACK!_

_Judai lent over the toilet, throwing up the contents of his stomach after shoving 2 fingers down his throat, blood pouring onto the white tiled floor from deep cuts in his wrists. It's been 4 months since Johan left for school aboard, and Judai was going crazy, Johan was everywhere, he would see his face in the soup at lunch and the milk at breakfast, every lamp post and duel card. It made him feel like he was living in a dream, like nothing was real, and he wanted more then anything to feel alive again. Doing this made him feel human and awake. The blood loss from his wrists was starting to get to him, black spots creeping into his vision. He was so out of it he didn't hear the front door of his apartment swing open or the soft voice calling his name. He just saw the blonde hair of his friend Asuka before he fainted._

_He awoke several hours later in the familiar infirmary. Squinting at the brightness of the white room, he slowly sat up._

"_Judai!" He heard someone to his left shout in a mixture of happiness and shock. He blinked his eyes to focus them. Eventually when his eyes got used to the light, he could see Asuka sat by his bed in her light green pyjamas. _

"_Judai how could you do such a thing to yourself?" She cried to him._

_He looked down at his abnormally small stomach and bandaged wrists, the bandages were makeshift and messy, showing that he hadn't been seen by a proper nurse yet._

"_Asuka...I..."_

"Is this about Johan again?"

_Judai silenced, she could read him like a book._

"_...Don't tell anyone Asuka...please...?"_

"_I won't Judai...but please stop..."_

"_I-" Judai started to counter._

"_You know what? Forget it!" Asuka ran out , hiding her teary eyed face._

"_Asuka..." Judai got up from the white bed and left the room._

FLASHBACK END

_ElementJUDAI6612_: Johan? What did she tell you?

_cRyStAlDuDe_: That you...

Judai waited a few minutes for Johan's reply

_cRyStAlDuDe:_ YOU STOPPED DUELING? WTF JUDAI?

_ElementJUDAI6612_: heh heh... Yeah sorry ^.^

_cRyStAlDuDe_: D:

_ElementJUDAI6612_: I said I'm sorry

_cRyStAlDuDe_: Ok ok ¬¬

_ElementJUDAI6612_: :(

_cRyStAlDuDe_: ¬¬

_ElementJUDAI6612_: sooooo...

_cRyStAlDuDe_: yeahhh...you looking forward to me visiting?

_ElementJUDAI6612_: NO!

_cRyStAlDuDe_: what? O.o

_ElementJUDAI6612_: Of course you idiot! ¬¬"

_cRyStAlDuDe_: Yayyyy ^.^ Duel me when I get there?

_ElementJUDAI6612:_ Sure I guess I might be a little rusty though

_cRyStAlDuDe_: All the better :) ill kick your ass

_ElementJUDAI6612_: NUUUUUUU

Judai couldn't believe how much better he felt already, his heart didn't hurt and he felt like a hole had been filled. He felt as though he could eat without feeling disgusting.

_cRyStAlDuDe_: Ne J I'm sorry but I gotta go now, gotta pack ^^"

Everything Judai has felt vanished in an instant, the hole was back and he wasn't hungry. He could feel his eyes burning as he wanted to cry.

_ElementJUDAI6612_: ok Johan J see you on the 28th

_cRyStAlDuDe_: Byeeeeee

Judai closed the lid of his laptop and lay back on his bed. Staring up at the cream ceiling.

Just 5 days, that's all he'd have to wait. Just 5 days. He lay there for a while, wondering where Johan would be staying, how long he'd be there, weather he has a girlfriend.

Before he knew it, his alarm clock read 3am.

'_**I better get some sleep'**_ he thought to himself. But minutes after he'd changed as his head had hit the pillow, a knock rapped on the door.

Judai groaned tiredly and stood up, opening the door. He paled considerably.

"Hello Judai." Rang a voice, he had once wished he'd never heard again.

**Authors note: So? How was it? I started writing this back in September...but I lost interest. I found it again today while cleaning out my Story folder, and decided to carry on and finish this chapter. Depending on the feedback I get will decide if I carry on with it or not :) **

**Constrictive criticism is accepted! But flamers will die, cappesh? This will be a Yaoi/Slash/BoyxBoy story, and if you don't like that I suggest you don't carry on reading if I do decide to carry on with it.**

**Should it be Longer? Shorter? More Detail? Less Detail? Any feedback or questions! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: Heyy! Thank you for all the reviews, alerts and faves! I've decided to carry on, at least for now anyway :) Big thank you to Darkus Asuka who I've had epic convocations with on PM :) THANK YOU!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh GX, I'm not even sure if I own Judai's dad in this chapter O.o**

**Warnings: non graphic rape, blood, depression**

**Last time: Judai groaned tiredly and stood up, opening the door. He paled considerably.**

"**Hello Judai." Rang a voice, he had once wished he'd never heard again.**

"D-dad?" Judai stuttered, fear growing in his chocolate eyes.

"Yes son, I have returned, missed me?" he smirked at Judai, golden eyes shimmering with evil delight. Judai began to shake lightly, tears building up behind thin eyelids. He had tried to leave his past, tried to forget what his family did to him, but it had come back to haunt him.

"Well?" came the too sickly sweet question. "Have you missed your old man? Your role model? Your mentor?" He shoved Judai in the chest as he yelled this, sending the frail teen flying into his bunk bed the other end of the room. Dazed, he sat there for a few seconds, holding the back of his pounding head. Something sticky and warm covered his hand. Taking a quick glance at the mysterious liquid, he saw his hand coated in his own dark blood.

His father loomed over him, a thin leather belt in his hand.

_**Flashback**_

"_F-father please..!" Judai cried out as the belt hit him again on the back, tearing another cut into the soft skin._

"_Shut up! It's your fault your mother is dead! If you hadn't come along she would still be here!" He hit his only son again with the belt. He knew it would scar Judai badly, but he didn't care. He was blind with rage and grief. _

_Judai could hear his older sister trying to pull his father away from him, but he could no longer see it. Black spots were appearing in front of his eyes, and soon he couldn't see a thing._

_When he awoke the next morning, he felt sore all over. He could hardly move from the cuts on his chest and back, and thick, semi-dry blood covered his torso. But more than anything, his behind hurt, and he was lying in the nude on the floor. His trousers thrown carelessly to the side, his boxers the other end of the room. He was too young at the time to understand, being only 6 or 7 years of age, but when he was older, he understood what had happened that night_

_**Flashback End**_

He screamed loudly, hoping someone would hear him, would answer his plea for help. But no one came. He wanted to black out, to escape this pain even if it meant be in more pain later on. But he wanted it to stop now. He saw his father unbutton his own trousers then Judai's. He whimpered, not wanting to go through what he did for so many years again. Just as his father mounted him, Judai screamed again, but no one came. His father began to thrust sharply, filling his son with pain. But Judai couldn't scream again. His Father took the belt from his jeans that were thrown to the side and started to hit Judai with it while raping him. He saw black spots and stopped being able to feel the pain, then, Bliss unconsciousness took over.

Judai awoke what felt like hours later, the sun had now risen and the birds outside were chirping happily. He ached all over, and his chest was coated in sticky blood, his hair matted with it. Another liquid covered his body, but he didn't want to think about what it was.

4 days until Johan returns, it was close now, and Judai gained butterflies in his stomach just thinking about it.

Judai stripped what little clothing he was left wearing and climbed into the glass shower, letting the hot water soak away all his pain from the last few nights. Rubbing Orange and Mandarin shower gel into his scarred body and washing the dried blood out of his brunette hair, a headache pounded in his forehead. He just wanted to sleep but he knew he couldn't now, for one it was too early, but his mind was plagued with memories of the night before. He wouldn't sleep for the next few days, not until he felt safe.

Getting out of the hot shower was like a slap to the face, his apartment was cold. He grabbed the blue towel from the rack and stared at it for a minute. Johan had bought this towel for him when he had first moved into the apartment. Shaking the thought from his head, he quickly dried his body and hair, pulling a black t-shirt on and some blue jeans.

Passing a mirror as he walked back to the room, he studied how he looked. Black bags were present under his chocolate eyes and his hair was limp and lifeless, hanging around his face. He was so thin he was almost skeletal and he looked extremely sick, you could see his ribs through his shirt. He grimaced at his appearance; Johan wouldn't like to see him like this. He would go mental.

Judai looked at the floor, imagining Johan's reaction to seeing Judai in such a state. Smiling weakly to himself, he could see Johan cursing and forcing Judai to lie down, completely overreacting and protective. But he could also see Johan smirking at him, laughing and saying he deserved what he's gotten into. Not caring about him at all.

He knew that the first one was more likely to happen, but he couldn't help thinking about the second. What if Johan doesn't care anymore? What if he's here to see his other friends, and just trying to get Judai to love him again before throwing it in his face?

He shook his head viciously, gripping his hair. Johan wouldn't do that to him! He couldn't!

A loud melody interrupted his thoughts. Walking to the other side of the room, he picked up his phone and pushed a button to light the screen.

_1 new message_

Who would be texting him? He hadn't had a text in months. He opened it, reading the contents.

_Heyy Judai!_

_Get your butt online now! I have something important to tell you!_

_Johan_

He smiled slightly and went over to his laptop. Turning it on and opening messenger, he saw Johan was already online.

_cRyStAlDuDe: JUDAI!_

_ElementalJUDAI6613: Heyy Johan ^.^"_

_cRyStAlDuDe: GUESS WHAT!_

_ElementalJUDAI6613: What? Your caps lock is stuck?_

_cRyStAlDuDe: NOPE! BUT GUESS WHAT?_

_ElementalJUDAI6613: Just tell me Johan -.-"_

_cRyStAlDuDe: I'm not coming in 4 days..._

_ElementalJUDAI6613: WHAT! WHY? HAS SOMETHING HAPPENED? ARE YOU OK?_

_cRyStAlDuDe: Now whose caps lock stuck? xD_

_ElementalJUDAI6613: I was really looking forward to you coming...:(_

_cRyStAlDuDe: Good...BECAUSE ILL BE THERE TOMORROW!_

**Authors Note: there you go! The end of chapter 2. Slight cliffy? Not sure to be honest haha :D**

**I'm proud of myself for updating so (sort of) quickly! I'll start the next chapter soon. I have 21 chapters planned now. I think that's all I'll do of this story, maybe a sequel depending on how this one goes. Just be warned, poor Judai won't be 100% ok for a long time :D I is evil**

**I will never post a chapter unless it has 1000 words or more, because I don't like reading anything less than 1000 words, I feel like a hypocrite if I do it ^.^"**

**Question!: from my stories and authors notes, how old do you think I am?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: Heyy! I updated pretty quickly for me! Yeah? YEAH? I'm hyper I've been writing this inbetween talking to two of my best friends and drawing...so this has been going since 10am. Its now 1:12am. -.- I FAIL**

**Warnings: Sick-Judai, overthinking-Johan. Thats about it for this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh GX!**

**Last time: **_**ElementalJUDAI6613: I was really looking forward to you coming...:(**_

_**cRyStAlDuDe: Good...BECAUSE ILL BE THERE TOMORROW!**_

ElementalJUDAI6613: W-what? YAYY!

cRyStAlDuDe: YAYYY!

ElementalJUDAI6613: YAYYYY!

cRyStAlDuDe: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (I'm going to win)

ElementalJUDAI6613: ! (no I am!)

cRyStAlDuDe: !

ElementalJUDAI6613: !

cRyStAlDuDe: yay.

ElementalJUDAI6613: I WIN!

cRyStAlDuDe: No.

ElementalJUDAI6613: :( Is Johan upset with Judai now?

cRyStAlDuDe: yes. Very.

ElementalJUDAI6613: :'(

cRyStAlDuDe:...

ElementalJUDAI6613:...WAAA!

cRyStAlDuDe: ¬.¬" shut up Judai, I'm only messing

ElementalJUDAI6613: I know :3

cRyStAlDuDe: Argghhhh my plane's here! :D Bye Judai!

ElementalJUDAI6613: BYEEE!

Judai closed down his computer after Johan had signed out and after he had gotten changed and washed, he lay down on his bed. He prayed everything would be ok soon, once Johan was back with him, things would be better. For the first time in nearly a year, he fell asleep with a smile on his face, looking forward to the following day.

-With Johan-

Johan stepped off the train at 9am the next morning, he had gotten off the plane at 5am and had been on the train for 4 hours, now he was just looking for a taxi to take him to Judai's.

The Blunette hadn't stopped thinking about his best friend since he left, the heart broken look on his face had nearly ripped him in two. But it had been the chance of a lifetime, he got to study in England! Every day he spent in the lecture hall, the more he missed Judai. He missed pushing Judai gently or shouting in his ear to wake him up, the 7 portions of breakfast he would eat before class.

Johan smiled to himself just thinking about it, but frowned a second after. Asuka had said Judai had been acting strange lately, not coming out of his room or duelling anymore, making himself ill by not seeing daylight. Could he have caused this change in Judai? He seemed fine when he talked to him online, but its different from face to face he supposted. When talking on instant messanger, you couldn't see facial expressions or hear voice tones.

He shook his head, he was thinking too hard about this. It might not be his fault at all, maybe Judai was just sick.

He climbed into the taxi, giving Judai's address, then sitting back and waiting as the scenery shot past him. Japan hadn't changed much, still the same cherry blossom trees and beautiful lakes. He was sort of glad that Judai lived in the countryside of Japan instead of the city, the city was just so loud and demanding, busy and full to the rim with skyscrapers. But here, there was just the odd cottage, a block of flats dotted here and there, small corner shops and hardly any vehicles.

Johan's smile grew as he saw the taxi draw close to the familiar block of flats. He was a giddy as a toddler on Christmas day to see his Ju-chan again.

Once the taxi pulled to a stop, Johan quickly pushed a wad of cash into the drivers hand and pulled his trunk out of the boot.

"Thank you sir!" he called as he ran to the intercom. Pushing the button for flat 15, he waited. And waited. And waited.

Johan began to panic. Why wasn't Judai answering? Was he ok? No, calm down Johan, he's probably just asleep like the lazy sod he is.

Pulling his Cell phone out, he quickly punched in Judai's mobile number.

After nearly 6 rings, a groggy voice answered.

"H-hewwo..?" the voice came, yawning gently. Johan smiled weakly, he had overreacted. Judai was fine as always.

"Hey Ju-chan!" Johan yelled down the mobile, causing a few passers by to look at him as though he was crazy. Calling a boy "chan"? How abserd! He chuckled at his own humor, earning him more strange looks.

"J-johan-kun..?" The sleepy reply asked.

"Hai! Let me in you dumb-bell! I've been stood here 5 minutes already!"

"Y-your here..? A-already?" Judai squeaked.

"Hai! Let me iiiiiiinnn!"

"I-I'm not ready!"

"I don't care how you look! Just pull your boxers on and let me up already! Its cold!" He could almost see Judai panicing as he ran around the room trying to tidy things and brush his two-tone hair.

"ok ok! The doors open!"

"Ready or not Judai! Here I come!" He hung up and pulled the door open. Running up the stairs, he was already blushing at the images of a tired Judai he was getting. Hair messy and pj top askew. But what he saw when he swung the door open was not what he was expecting.

Judai's hair was lank and dull, deep black bags sticking out under the usually bright chocolate eyes, which were now tired and lifeless. His boxer shorts hung awkwardly on his boney hips and his ribs stuck out of his small frame. His skin pasty and stretched over the bones. Thick white scars covered his wrists and his chest was covered in bruises.

"J-judai..? W-what happened..?" Johan's voice was now cracked with shock at his best friend's condition. He'd seen Judai get bruised up from a fight before, but never like this.

Judai hugged his stomach turning his face away from Johan, cheeks slightly pink.

"I-i..." Judai started, his blush growing darker. "I fell..."

Johan was suddenly furious, grabbing his boney wrist and point at the scars. "How does "You fell" explain these Judai! How does it explain your ribs?"

Judai visibly flinched at the shouting and just looked to the floor, tears brimming in his brown eyes.

Johan suddenly felt bad, he shouldn't have shouted. They hadn't seen each other in nearly a year, and the way he reacts is yelling? That wasn't going to win Judai's heart.

"I-I'm sorry Judai, I didn't mean to yell, i-its just-" he was cut off by Judai's hand slapping hard across his face. He watched stunned as the brunette ran out of the room they were in and into the bathroom locking the door behind him.

Johan sighed and started looking around the room, trying to find the cause of Judai's sickness. It wasn't long before he came across a small teal book with the words 'Judai's Journal" printed across the front.

**Authors Note: Yayy! This chapter wasn't so bad was it? . not alot of hurting Judai in this one! It gets worse in the next chapter...but hey! Thats after ive slept and my friends are in school ;)**

**Thank you to ****chrisandersenyuki for being the only person to answer the question in my last chapter :O I'm not 15...but your close ;) :)**

**So again, **

_**the question: How old do you think I am? If you know me in person you're not allowed to answer :P**_

_**P.S: There might be alot of chapter up the next few weeks! I'm off school until January now due to moving house and area, so I have alot more writing time between packing and other things :)**_

_**P.P.S: Do you think I should boost the rating up to an "M" because of the last chapter? Or is it fine as a "T"? :S**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: I know what you're all thinking, "2 chapters in 2 days? You must be kidding! You never update this fast!" And guess what? I know :) but I'm on a roll! My stupid laptop is broken and won't play disks anymore, so I can't play Sims 3 :( BUT it gave me more time to write! Another chapter later or tomorrow? Maybe :)**

**Warnings: Blood, Self-harm, Anorexia, Bulimia, insanity**

**Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh GX :(**

_Last time: Johan sighed and started looking around the room, trying to find the cause of Judai's sickness. It wasn't long before he came across a small teal book with the words 'Judai's Journal" printed across the front._

Sitting down on the red chair in the corner, he checked that Judai was still in the bathroom. Seeing that he was, Johan opened the Journal and began to read.

**September 24****th**** 2009**

**Johan left today, he said he had to. I cried, I didn't want him to leave. But by the time the tears came he was already gone. I didn't get to tell him how I feel. But right now, I just feel numb.**

Johan slowly read on, most of the entries were pretty short. It just seemed to be something he could get his feelings out onto, instead of him writing every little thing he did that day.

**September 30****th**** 2009**

**Asuka says she's worried about me, Sho too. Even Manjoume seems to care for once. None of them understand the feelings I have for Johan, I just want him to know I'm thinking about him. That I need him with me. Please Johan, come back.**

Johan now had tears in his eyes. He knew he had upset Judai by leaving, but he hadn't realised he would think so much about him. He was almost scared to go onto the next entry.

**October 10****th**** 2009**

**I can't eat anymore, I'm having trouble sleeping as well. I just can't get Johan out of my head. Why is he affecting me so much? Why do I have to love him? My ribs are starting to show now, and when I got in a fight with Manjoume this morning, he nearly knocked me out with a single punch. Then he looked worried. Yeah, MANJOUME, worried. It doesn't seem right. Nothing seems right.**

Judai had stopped eating properly all the way back then? Johan stared at the bathroom door, not knowing what he would find if he went to calm Judai down. Reading the next entry. He decided what he had to do. There was no two ways around it.

**October 31****st**** 2009**

**Asuka found me after id done it today, after they had forced me to eaten I had gone to the bathroom saying I needed the toilet, and had made myself throw up. It made me feel like I was living, not a soul-less shell that just walked around since Johan left. I'd also slit my wrists, the first cut had been accidental, but the physical pain had made me forget the emotional pain, and it felt good. So I kept cutting. I don't even know what I'm still doing here.**

That was it for Johan, he stood up and put the small book down, then walked over to the bathroom banging on the door.

As he approached, he heard a loud scream, Judai's scream.

"Judai let me in!"

Another scream came from the room, the pure sound of it making Johan shiver. The silence came from the room, the wet sound of an object hitting liquid.

"Judai it's me! I'm sorry! Please let me in?"

No reply...

-With Judai-

Judai curled in the corner of the bathroom, sobbing and holding his stomach. He hadn't expected Johan to react that way, worried, maybe. But not yelling. He didn't want Johan to hate him. It was his fault this had happened anyway!

Feeling the familiar numb feeling cover his heart as he cried, he crawled over to the toilet and pushed two fingers down his throat, causing him to gag. He hadn't eaten anything for days so there was nothing to throw up, but it didn't stop him trying.

Johan hadn't even come after him to see if he was ok. He didn't care. Of course he didn't care. He probably had a beautiful girlfriend back in England, why would he want to help his suicidal Japanese friend?

He slowly grew worse and worse, his sobs becoming harder and more violent. Stumbling to his feet, he went to the nearby medical cupboard and pulled out a long, silver razor. It was stained dark red in places from his blood, and others parts were shiny and untouched. He sat on the edge of the bathtub, looking on his left arm for a piece of unscarred skin. It took him a while, but he eventually decided on a spot.

Placing the sharp end of the razor onto the underside of his arm, he slowly put a little bit of pressure, enough so he can feel the cold edge dig into his flesh. He slowly pushed down harder and harder, savouring the pain until blood trickled out of the wound. Pulling the razor quickly across, a long slit formed, blood appearing in it. As quickly as the pain had come, it disappeared, making Judai remember everything that had happened that day. He ripped another slit into his arm, and another and another. His depression taking over. He wanted to forget how angry Johan was with him, forget how Johan just left him stranded, forget how much he loved the sapphire haired boy.

By now, Judai was coated in blood, his arms were soaked in it. He thought he looked something of a masterpiece, with all the precious red liquid pouring out of him.

Staggering to his feet, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He didn't see himself, but rather Johan, the carbon copy of himself.

"Why do you put me through this Judai? Are you trying to make me hate you? You know it's your fault I left for England, you annoyed me too much. You're just trying to annoy me more now. You didn't deserve to be the best dueller at school, which was obviously meant for me. You stole my title you worthless piece of flesh!" the reflection yelled at him.

Judai covered his ears screaming as Yubel took Johan's place.

"Why did you abandon me Judai? We were best friends! How could you do that? I was only trying to help you and you repay me by sending me away? You're horrible, you're a horrible friend and you don't deserve life. You deserve to be in the depths of hell with Satan himself, suffering an eternity of slavery!"

Judai screamed more, black dots dancing in front of his vision. One-by-one, each of his friends appeared in the mirror, each asking the same thing.

"Why are you such a burden to us? Why couldn't you have died the first time, that's what we all wanted."

Black spots danced across his vision as the lack of blood became too much for his body to handle. Slowly but surely, his body crumpled to the floor into the pool of blood that had formed.

**Authors Note: So? What did you think? You like? :D**

**I know the characters might be acting a bit OoC...but that's the way I write :) if you don't like it, don't read this story :) deal?**

**A few more people have answered my question so far, but no one has gotten it right :) though I'm actually pretty happy people think I'm older then I am! A few were very close though :)**

**So! The Answer! I am...13! :D Betcha didn't think I was that age :D I had a few 14's, a 15, and a 16 or two :)**

**Thank you for all the reviews so far :) I'm so glad people like this story!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors note: *sigh* this was nearly double what the last chapters were! I had to try and make up for not updating for a few days just had some sh*t going on :) but I'm not going to go on and on about it. But the main thing that made this update take longer was MW crashed halfway through writing this and deleted it all. ¬¬" I was not overly impressed.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh GX. I only own Skyler. Who you will meet in this chapter**

_Last time: Black spots danced across his vision as the lack of blood became too much for his body to handle. Slowly but surely, his body crumpled to the floor into the pool of blood that had formed._

-With Johan-

Johan rammed the door repeatedly, trying to break it off its hinges. Something was wrong with Judai, he could feel it. The screams then silence, it couldn't be good.

Eventually, the door splintered and broke, showing Johan the image he had feared. Judai lay slumped in the corner, pale and in a pool of his own blood, a razor gripped in his right hand.

"J-Judai!" he yelled as he rushed to the brunette's side, shaking him harshly. The smaller boy didn't make a sound.

Johan put two fingers on Judai's neck, feeling desperately for a pulse. It was there, but faint.

"Judai you need to wake up! You have to wake up! Please!" He shook the brunette harder. Judai still didn't stir. Johan quickly thought over his options, he could call an ambulance, but that would get Judai thrown into a mental house, and he would hate himself for causing that. Maybe Judai needed it, but maybe he just needed Johan there and with him, in the back of his mind, the nagging feeling that him leaving had caused Judai to turn to self harm was getting stronger.

2nd option, he could try to help Judai alone, which involved bandaging his arms and trying to make him survive through the extreme blood loss, personally he thought that would be possible looking at the pasty boy lying in his arms. He couldn't save Judai's life alone.

His final option was to call Skyler Anderson, Johan's English cousin. He would know what to do; he always knew what to do. After all, this was Skyler.

Johan bound Judai's wrists as tightly as he could to try and stop the bleeding, then pulled his mobile out of his back pocket. Holding the number 9 down for a few seconds, his phone began to speed dial his cousin.

Johan put the phone to his ear and waited for the blonde to pick up. Answer your damn phone already! Eventually, the bored, yawning voice of his cousin rang through the mobile.

"Johaaaaaaaaaan! What do you waaaaaaaaant?"

Usually, Johan would have smiled and laughed at Skyler's behaviour, calling him things and messing around, but the situation was too serious, Judai was losing more and more blood by the second.

"Skyler! Get your butt to Judai's apartment now, I need you. It's an emergency."

Skyler groaned in annoyance. "What's more important than sleep...?"

Johan growled and had to bite his lip to stop himself screaming down the phone. "My best friend's life! Get here now! Please..." Tears were filling Johan's green eyes as he stared at the limp figure on his lap. Judai's lips had turned blue and his breaths were quick and shallow.

"Johan? Johan what's wrong? Screw it I'm on my way." Seriousness now filled Skyler's voice, if Johan was crying he wasn't messing around. That much his family knew.

Johan hung up and cradled Judai, trying his best to stir the brunette from the deep slumber he was in. He shouldn't have yelled, he should have tried to go over with him calmly about how he looked. Taken the obvious lie with a smile and said he knew it wasn't true. He had scared the younger boy, which in turn had scared him.

The Judai he knew didn't let anything get to him, let alone him shouting at him. But Judai had changed, for the worst as well. He was nothing like the Slifer Slacker he'd left behind, heck, he hadn't even got like this for as long as Johan had known him.

-With Skyler-

The blue eyed blonde weaved easily through the traffic towards Judai's apartment. He'd never met Judai, but when Johan had gone to duel academy, he hadn't shut up about him. Changing gear in his motorbike, Skyler sped up more and wasn't far off the apartment. He didn't even know the address, but he knew he was close. Instincts, got to love them.

Soon, he pulled up next to a tall apartment block, some of the windows on some floors were smashed and the front door hung from its hinges. The only thing that looked in tact was the intercom in the inside hallway. His eyes scanned the numbers. Flat 15. He pushed the corresponding number and waited. His cousin's frantic voice bellowed out of the speaker.

"Skyler? Is that you? Hurry! Please! Come up!"

Skyler deadpanned. "I can't come up until you buzz me in your dolt."

There was silence for a few seconds, then an obviously embarrassed reply. "S-shut up!"

Soon, the buzz that told him the door was open sounded and he was able to push it open with ease and climb up the rusted metal stairs. They made a strange creek as walked which wasn't very comforting. These stairs couldn't be safe.

Swinging open number 15's door, Skyler scanned the room. It was a mess! Blankets lay strewn across the floor and the bed was left unmade, the answer machine had the number 56 flashing.

Johan came rushing out of the bathroom towards him, completely covered in dark blood. Terror shone in his eyes. This was defiantly serious. Following his cousin back to the bathroom, he assessed the pale boy.

"It's just a bit of blood loss, nothing I can't handle." He muttered to Johan, cracking his knuckles as he spoke.

"S-so you can help him? I-I don't want him to end up in a mental home when I might be able to help..." Johan pleaded to him with broken eyes.

Skyler scoffed. "You? Help him? Pfft. Yeah right. Sure I can help him. He'll be asleep for a few hours though." He stuck his tongue out at his cousin when he spoke, showing the insults were just a joke.

Johan smiled weakly. "Thanks, I appreciate it..."

Skyler grinned and got to work on the frail boy. Muttering strange words in no language known to his cousin. Chuckling slightly at his amazed look when the cuts on Judai's arms stopped bleeding and closed over, a little colour returned to his face, His breathing deepened and his pulse grew stronger.

Slowly he pulled his hands away and quietened his mutters, eventually going silent.

Skyler watched Johan lean over his best friend and take his vitals, a smile growing on his face.

"You did it!" He cried out, taking a leaping jump at his cousin, causing him to yelp and get knocked over flat on his back.

"I-I told you it was no problem! J-Johan gets off your crushing me!"

Johan sat up giggling his head off, tears of happiness trailing down his cheeks, but it wasn't long until he was sobbing his heart out. Skyler leant over and pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back in a calming manner.

"Don't worry, Judai's fine now. It's ok. Please stop crying, it's going to be ok. Shhh,"

"H-he...H-he could have died Sky...a-and it was my fault...I-I was too harsh on him...h-he could have died...o-oh my gosh...J-Judai nearly died..."

Skyler looked shocked. "Your fault? How was it your fault? Judai's obviously depressed Jo, that's not your fault."

Johan looked up at him with big shimmering eyes, he and his cousin had always been close. "I-I saw how sick he was and I shouted at him when he lied to me...H-he ran off into the bathroom crying then I found him like this...b-but when I left for England last year...A-Asuka and Sho said he got really depressed...I-its my fault..."

Skyler sighed. "Jo, don't you go getting depressed now as well, Judai needs you. Just because you left to help your education doesn't make it your fault. Just calm down and help I'm ok? I'm sure you can make him better."

Johan stayed silent for a second, trying to gain control over his tears. Eventually, he spoke up. "I-I can..?"

"Sure you can! If you leaving is what caused the depression, you coming back is sure to cure it!"

A smile slowly grew on his face and he nodded, scooping Judai up in his shaking arms. Skyler helped him moved the former Slifer to his bed in the front room and tucked him in.

"Well Johan, it's been fun saving your friend's life but I gotta dash. Duty calls ya'know? Call whenever you need anything and I'll be there!" Not giving him any time to reply, he nugied the sapphire haired boy and ran out onto his motorbike.

He hoped he wouldn't be needed by the blossoming couple again, but he was sure they would survive.

-With Johan-

Johan currently stood in the shower, washing the remains of Judai's blood off his tired body. It was only 1pm yet he felt exhausted. He couldn't believe how close Judai had come to dying. Sure he had been scared when he'd seen the Slifer bleeding to death in the bathroom, but it hadn't completely sunk in how close it was until it was over.

His blonde haired, blue eyed annoying cousin had saved his best friends life, and he couldn't repay him.

After no remainder of the experience was left on his skin, he stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around himself and rubbing himself dry, before stealing some of Judai's pjs and sitting on the bed next to him. He sat there for hours, looking through Judai's CD collection, his duelling deck, DVD collection, anything to keep his mind off the image in his mind from when he broke the door.

That reminded him, as he looked over at the bathroom where the broken door leant off its hinges. He should pay to get that fixed. Considering it didn't look like Judai had a job at the moment, he didn't think he would be able to afford to replace that by himself.

Johan found himself staring at Judai's still pale face, his skin looked smooth even if it was pasty. Slowly, he leaned over his friend, placing his lips gently on the others. Staying there for a second, he pulled away blushing. He'd just kissed his best friend! The one he was sure was straight and probably crushing majorly on Asuka.

He sighed to himself and fell back onto the bed, being careful so as not to further injure the brunette. Just as he started to nod off, a small groan left Judai's lips. Sitting bolt upright, he waited for him to fully waken, it taking around 5 minutes after the initial groan to his eyes opening.

They looked beautiful, beautiful brown orbs staring at him. Johan almost lost himself staring into them. A blush once again appeared on his cheeks and he turned away for a second, flustered.

"J-Johan...?" Judai croaked, his throat obviously dry. Johan nodded to him and put a glass of water to his lips, allowing the water to slip gently down his throat. He turned his head away once he'd had enough and attempted to sit up, only to get pushed down again by the bluenette.

"Oh no you don't. We have to talk."

**Authors note: Huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed, liked, faved and alerted so far :) you don't understand how much it means to me to wake up in the morning with reviews in my Fan fiction folder 3**

**Major thank you to **_**Naomi Fudo**_**, who reviewed, faved the story, alerted the story, faved me as an author and alerted me as an author. I sort of bounced around the room for an hour.**

**P.S: Depending on how much people like Skyler, I might write a spin off to this story about who he really is and how he can do what he does. Tell me if you like him or not so I can start planning :)**


	6. Authors Note

**This story is being discontinued, at least for now. Mainly due to the fact I don't have any drive to write it anymore. A pretty long review made me realise how bad it was, how bad it's been plotted, wrote out and other things. It wasn't a flame as such, but more very harsh criticism in places. And it just completely put me off this story. I know I'll probably have a few people complaining about how 1 review has made me stop writing this, but if I don't like the story anymore, it's just going to get worse instead of better.**

**His Return might be continued once I have the time to plot and plan the whole thing again taking care that it actually makes sense. But due to packing and moving I don't have that time at the moment. I have a few other ideas for chapter stories, but they probably won't be Spiritshipping, and if they are it will be AU.**

**Thanks to the people who did stick with the story, I'm sorry for letting you down.**


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